Or something like that.

It’s been a hot minute since I’ve graced you with tales from Laporte, enough that this segment might as well be dubbed ‘This Time-of-Who-Really-Keeps-Track in Laporte’. This week, we dusted off our boots for some frolicking in nature – because who needs indoor heating when you can embrace the frostbite?

We hit up the hunter walking trails and stumbled upon the North Country Trail, a slice of heaven for those of us who find joy in not seeing another soul for miles. Honestly, it’s a miracle to find places not echoing with the sounds of human existence. No backyard BBQs, no inflatable flamingos staring into your soul. Just pure, unadulterated nature. I did miss the occasional Sasquatch garden gnome, though. It adds character, you know?

This weekend was a marathon of nature walks – Saturday and Sunday we clocked in a whopping 21 miles. That’s right, we turned weekend warriors on the trail, resetting our brains and possibly spraining an ankle or two in the process.

Walking for hours is like a lottery for your brain. You might solve the world’s problems, have a philosophical epiphany, or more likely, find yourself debating the nutritional value of a Twinkie. It’s a wild ride in there.

And let’s not forget the luxurious rest stops nature provides. A bench, TP, and hand sanitizer – it’s like the Ritz-Carlton of the wilderness. The only thing missing was pay-per-view. Though, a little part of me misses the thrill of the splinter gamble.

But it wasn’t all gallivanting through the trees pretending to be Thoreau.

Mom played Chicken Survivor with the remaining flock (a saga to be continued). Meanwhile, Mom and Dave took ‘chopping wood’ to Olympic sport levels, and our cat assumed the role of project manager, overseeing operations with a critical eye and an occasional meow of disappointment.

And the grand finale? A Viber zoom fiesta for Dalton’s 50th – complete with craft beer and poop emoji toilet paper, because we’re classy like that.

So, there you have it: another wild weekend in the great, snowy north. Where the adventures are made up, and the temperatures definitely matter.